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It’s got an Engagement ‘Ring’ to it..

What is an engagement you ask?

No I’m not talking about two people falling in love and getting engaged to be married.  That’s something we all should understand, and try to avoid.  I’m talking about being so engaged in something that you just can’t get away from it.  Okay, that still sounds like I’m talking about an engagement to a spouse, but that’s still not what I mean.

Essentially, an engagement with a person to be married and engaging with someone and other activities do have very similar meanings.  Key ingredients to being engaged in something is having a commitment, maintained interest, and participation in the activity, whether it is in the online or offline space.  Being engaged means that you legitimately care and that you actually show it.

There are many things that people can catch themselves being engaged in every day.  When people read, they are engaged in their books.  Getting a Facebook account and using it is a significant engagement that many people share in common throughout the world.  And even a simple conversation brings a sense of engagement to both parties.  An example right now would be that you are most likely engaged with this blog.  You’re reading it, and you’re continuing to read it.  It may not be the most interesting piece of writing you have ever read, but you can suck it up and finish it.

How might one build a relationship and engage with people you ask?

Just talk to people, be friendly, ask questions, spend time with someone, and just care and act interested!  It’s pretty important to build relational closeness with others in order to have a higher sense of engagement.  By doing so, you will most likely build a trustworthy relationship with others.

So how do you build relational closeness?

  • First things first, you cannot be shy!  In order to get to know someone else, they need to get to know you.  Share yourself to others.
  • When another person is talking, be a responsive and attentive listener.  You need to really listen and give good relative feedback.  Give more than a few head nods and answers like “uh huh” or “mm k, yeah”.
  • Use relational language.  By using us, we, and other ways of making a sense of partnership, the person you are trying to engage will feel more welcoming and reassuring that you want them to be affiliated with you.
  • Spend more time with the person or at least keep a consistent contact.  Don’t make yourself feel distant from the other.  Share time, space, and touch.  Keep the touching to a limit though.  You wouldn’t want to come off as a creep.
  • Display a positive affect.  Give a smile and don’t sound so dull.

I feel like I’m still giving you dating tips.  I don’t think there is any way around it.

 

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About scheppmj

Albion College Student-Athlete

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